"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
John 3:16




The Poop
and nothing but the poop!
Poop poems for bag toppers etc...

New Year's  | Valentine's  |  St. Patrick's  |  Easter
Independence Day [4th of July] | Halloween  |  Thanksgiving
Christmas/Winter  | Candy Bar One Liners  |
submit poop poem to be included

Valentine's

Cupid Poop

I couldn't send you flowers
and candy wouldn't do
and mushy cards just didn't
say the things I want them to.
So I got you something special
and here's the inside scoop
I found you something very rare
it's genuine Cupid poop!

[Use red hot heart candies]

Cupid Poop

Here is something from the cupids above,
who fly along with all of the doves.
Whose arrows have hit many lonely hearts,
they send you a gift for your big heart.
Your kindness and love have been so true,
so the cupids have sent you their little poo-poo.


Easter

Easter Bunny

Hidden eggs are not for you,
Not even in the chicken coop,
Look as you may, search as you will
All you'll find in bunny poop.

Easter Bunny

Here comes Peter Cottontail
Hoppin' down the bunny trail
Hippity Hoppity, Easter's on it's way!
But Peter couldn't wait so long
He left a bag of Bunny dung.
Hope this helps you have a hoppy day!

[Use small chocolate easter eggs or chocolate covered raisins]

St. Patrick's

Leprechaun

It's time for the wearin' of the green
and the smallest people
you've ever seen.
The Luck of the Irish they carry along
and a pot of gold if you can hold them long.
But if you let them go too soon,
Leprechaun poop will be your due!

[Use green Tic-Tac mints or green jelly belly's]

Independence Day

4th of July

It's the birthday of the Red White & Blue
I have a special gift for you!
With a flash and a Bang
and smoke that goes poof!
Here's your bag of
firecracker poop!

[Use red licorice bites, Hot Tamales, Tic-Tac's, Fire-Ball candy or Jelly Belly's]

Halloween

Pumpkin Pooh

A night on the town
is certainly proof,
Pumpkins were watching,
while you made a goof,
Tricking not treating
is your game.
Your pumpkins at home
were thinking the same.
So, when you get home this you must do
check your shoes for pumpkin pooh.

[Use cheesy puffs for the inside of a cello bag]
by Darla Gould and Friend

Pumpkin Poop

I started to carve a pumpkin
with my carving knife and scoop
But the pumpkin got so scared
He took a little poop!
It looked so cute and funny
Just like a candy treat
So I'm sharing it with you now
Because you are so sweet!

[Use candy corn]

Pumpkin Poop

The goblins and ghosts
Have flown the coop
They even took the
Black Cat Soup
The only thing left
Is this yummy loot
So sit and enjoy
Your pumpkin poop!

Halloween / Ghost

Wishing you a Halloween Boo!
All you get is Ghost Poo!
Place it in water clear
Watch it magically disappear!

[Use melting packing peanuts]

Halloween / Ghost

Ghostly poo is fluffy and nice
Vampire doo doesn't come near
Hold it under water
and watch it disappear!
Boooooooooooo!

[Use melting packing peanuts]

Halloween / Ghost

Halloween Greetings are near
Hold this under water
and watch the ghost poop....disappear!
Happy Halloween....Boo!

[Use melting packing peanuts]

Halloween / Ghost

I could hear them in the walls
running down the halls
In and out of rooms,
Dancing with the brooms,
But, alas not one believed
the Ghosts roamed my happy home,
so I collected up their droppings
as a special gift for you
for now a fool you'll pay
with evidence of ghoul play.

[Use mini marshmallows, popcorn or white Tic-Tac mints]

Scarecrow Poop

Halloween is coming
fall is in the air.
The scarecrow is shivering
so you've got to beware!
The birds are flying a big loop-de-loop.
Look out!
You've stepped in Scarecrow Poop!

[Use Candy Corn inside a cello bag]
Credit goes to Ann M., of IA

Scarecrow Poop

Scarecrows can be cute,
Scarecrows can be scary,
and though they move their feet alot,
they're only sedentary.
But if you leave them to their own,
and find them in the morn,
I'll bet you didn't know-
Scarecrows poop candy corn!

by Kate Lewis

Thanksgiving

Scarecrow Poop

Fall is here...there's a nip in the air,
But you won't have to sink to despair!
To have a warm laugh - here's the scoop,
I'm giving you some Scarecrow poop!

[You can use cut up pieces of raffia for this or any fall colored candy]

Turkey Poop

You invited me to dinner
with your family and your friends.
You didn't say I was the main dish.
For me it was "THE END!"

You frightened me so badly
I knew I had been duped!
So I left you with my calling card:
This bag of Turkey Poop!

[Fill bag with coffee beans, raisinets, jelly beans, etc...]

Christmas / Winter

Reindeer

We were awakened when we heard Santa call,
"Dash away, dash away, dash away all!"
But soon we discovered out on the front lawn,
Santa and his reindeer were gone.
With our little shovels, we started to scoop,
all of the droppings.....YUCK, reindeer poop!
So, then we generously filled you up a sack,
Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy your snack.

[The above can be made with a cardboard french fry container
and stamped with Christmas stamps all over and then filled with
little plastic bags with Milk Duds or Malt balls]

Reindeer

For all the souls who hate the noise
Of Christmas cheer and lights and toys
For Mr. Scrooge and Mrs. too,
here's a little gift for you...

A lump of coal won't be enough
to make up for the shine and fluff,
So, here's a scoop of reindeer poop
to offset all that Christmas goop!!

Rudolph

Santa saved a precious gift
And it's especially for you.
Just a little something extra
And it comes from Rudolph, too!

He knows that you've been naughty
Instead of being nice.
Once again you're on the bad list
And he's checked it over twice.

Santa hopes this little poem
Doesn't throw you for a loop.
All your getting this year
Is a bunch of reindeer poop!

The Elves

Moose Poop

My moose just left,
you heard me right.
Just packed his bags
and left my sight.
But with some luck
upon the ground,
there will be evidence
to be found.

[Use milk duds, malted milk balls, chocolate covered
raisins or chocolate covered peanuts]

Moose Poop

- FOR HUNTING SEASON -

I hunted and hunted
But "oh shoot"!
All I found this season was Moose Poop!

[fill your baggie with chocolate covered raisins]

Snowman

Heard you've been naughty
So here's the scoop,
All you get is...
Snowman Poop!

[poop can be marshmallows]

Snowman Poop

I hear you've been naughty,
So listen, here's the scoop...
I'm running short on coal this year,
so you get "Snowman Poop"
Love, Santa

[use mini-marshmallows]

I Learned All About Life From a Snowman...

  • It's okay if you're a little bottom heavy.

  • Hold your ground, even when the heat is on.

  • Wearing white is always appropriate.

  • Winter is the best of the four seasons.

  • It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection.

  • There's nothing better than a foul weather friend.

  • The key to life is to be a jolly, happy soul.

  • We're all made up of mostly water.

  • You know you've made it when they write a song about you.

  • Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize!

  • Don't get too much sun.

  • It's embarrassing when you can't look down and see your feet.

  • It's fun to hang out in your front yard.

  • Always put your best foot forward.

  • There's no stopping you once you're on a roll.

    Snowman Poop

    Santa looked at his list,
    even checked it twice.
    And he found out that
    you haven't been nice.
    Since coal is so expensive,
    here is the scoop,
    Santa is filling your stocking with ...
    SNOWMAN POOP!!!!

    Reindeer Poop

    Santa's been here.  How do I know?
    Look what I found outside in the snow!

    [Use this to top a cello bag of raisins or raisinettes]

    Gingerbread Men Poop

    Heard you've been naughty!
    So here's the scoop
    all YOU get is
    Gingerbread Poop!

    [Use gum drops]

    Candy One Liners

    It's winter. Thank you for staying fresh with your teaching!
    (Winterfresh gum)

    When it's Zero outside, you add warmth to the classroom.
    (Zero candy)

    Thank you for putting your heart into teaching.
    (Candy hearts)

    Thank you for being a red hot volunteer!
    (Red hots)

    You were a Life Saver this week!
    (Life savers)

    You add pop to our program!
    (popcorn)

    You are a prize in our program!
    (cracker jacks)

    You're the apple of my eye. Thanks for teaching boys & girls!
    (Apple or apple jolly ranchers)
    or
    You're the apple of God's eye!

    You're a star in the nursery. Thanks for serving the Lord!
    (Starburst)

    "Twix" you and me, you're doing a great job!
    Keep up the good work!
    (Twix bar)

    Bar none - You're the best!
    (Bar None candy)

    Here's a kiss and a hug for someone special!
    (Hershey hugs & kisses)

    Thanks for adding "Joy" to a child's life!
    (Almond Joy)

    You're a star in our galaxy!
    (Milky Way)

    It's a real treat to work with you!
    (any candy)

    You deserve an extra Pay Day!
    (Pay Day)
    or
    What a payday you'll have in heaven!
    (Pay Day)

    You never Snicker at a child's needs. Thanks for your ministry!
    (Snickers)

    Thanks for your whopper ideas!
    (Whopper candies)

    You're making a Mound of a difference!
    (Mounds)

    You're a real slugger! Keep on batting for children!
    (Baby Ruth)

    By George, you're wonderful!
    (Pretend $100 bill)

    You're worth even more to us!
    (100 Grand candy bar)

    Thanks for sharing God's Majesty & Might with the children!
    (M & M's)

    You're worth your weight in chocolate!
    (chocolate candy bar)

    Your work with children is more precious than gold!
    (gold wrapped chocolate candy)

    We didn't know WERTHER or not you realized how special you are to us!
    (Werthers)

    When it comes to kids, you're worth a mint!
    (Peppermints)

    Thanks for proclaiming God's Word!
    (Bugles)

    This place would be a zoo without you!
    (animal crackers)

    We'd be in knots without you!
    (pretzels)

    Thanks for joining our party. You add a new flavor!
    (party mix)

    We're nuts about you!
    (Peanuts)